


Dress Coded

by Hanahaiku



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Remus Lupin, Bisexual Sirius Black, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Humor, Hogwarts Sixth Year, M/M, Marauders' Era, Pining, Remus Lupin & James Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Romance, mentioned Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 17:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13253547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanahaiku/pseuds/Hanahaiku
Summary: Remus is mad at Sirius but what else is new? Remus's warnings prompt Sirius to take dress code into his own hands, after all the hand book doesn't say anything about a boy wearing a skirt.Contains: Apologies, shenanigans, banter, crossdressing, boys being boys, boys being in love, flirting, fighting, anamagi, sex/study rooms, and a very uncomfortable Professor Flitwick.





	Dress Coded

**Author's Note:**

> Partially inspired by an absolutely splendid piece of fan art I saw by Gin-draws on Tumblr!

Remus is pacing the hallway counting down the minutes before he's done with prefect duty, for once not thankful for the quiet thinking space. The anger rolling off of him has only increased since Peter informed him just how many points Sirius Black had lost them this morning, for not having his uniform up to school standards. And incredibly it was the third time in a single week he'd been dress coded. Remus glances at the clock, soaking in the time and shaking his head, as it has been 1 and 45 seconds since he had last looked. Prefect duty had never gone by so slowly.

He remembers when he first got his badge. Being given a prefect badge was an honor. One he assumes he received last year as a half hearted plea to keep his friends in line, but an honor no less. Not that he'd tried to keep them in line. Well he didn't exactly not try to. It's just not in his nature to be bought.

Besides, last year had been hard enough to resist all the pranks that could be assisted by the access prefects had. He has some top tier prank ideas stored up, but none would amount to anything if Sirius kept gryffindor house hemorrhaging points. At this state their housemates would turn on them no matter how quality the prank, and by now, their sixth year of school, it'd be crazy to assume they wouldn't automatically be suspects #1-4.

Remus broke out of thought by footsteps down the hall and looked up to see the shiny red hair of Lily Evans, she gives a small wave as she approaches him. Remus attempts to mask his annoyance at Sirius’s actions forcing a smile as she walks up.

“Remus,” she begins in a voice one would use to talk to their kid brother or to scold a dog, “What's going on? I swear I could hear your stomping from the other side of the castle.

Remus sighs, so much for concealing his temper, “Sorry, it's just,” he makes a vague hand gesture, “Sirius.”

She nods as if to say ‘boys, they're idiots, I understand’ she actually says, “Don't worry, I’m not here to scold you. I actually came down here to relieve you,” she gives a mock bow, “Remus Lupin you are free to go pound one Sirius Black, and then just maybe gryffindor will have a shot at the house cup.”

Remus shakes his head, “You don't have to do that.”

“I believe your line is thank you Ms.Evans,” she says teasing in the calm kind way that only she could pull off.

Remus remains unconvinced. Lily arches her brow and places a hand on her hip before saying, “Remus, it's really for the best. I wasn't joking about the stomping, and sulking isn't very healthy.”

Remus can feel himself growing red as Lily steps  forward raising her hand and putting it on his shoulder.

“Go talk to him before Potter can warn him and he turns on the puppy dog eyes, Potter will be done with detention any minute and I really don't mind the shift. You'll just have to owe me one.”

Remus matches her smile easily reaching up to the hand on his shoulder and squeezing it in his own.

“You're a hero, Evans” He salutes her as he hurries down the hall.

“Don't you forget it!” She bellows after him.

Remus pushes up the stairs to his dorm but stops when he gets to the slightly ajar door. Damn, James must have beaten him here.

“Oi, Black you're lucky I got here before Moony finishes his rounds.” He hears James start.

He tries not to make any noise as he stands outside his own room waiting (or hoping), to hear Sirius’s real reasoning for his apparent inability to tie a tie properly.

“How was doing Filch’s dirty work?” Peter asks even though he knows full well what's going on.

“Fine,” James snaps “but listen Moony's pissed. Sirius, you gotta stop wearing that idiotic leather jacket to Transfiguration.”

Sirius snorts, “Now you're just punishing everyone! Who cares if Moony’s having his time of the month. This is the jacket that I first went to second base with Marlene McKinnon in, I'm not giving it up. They can't just force us all to conform to their standards of what a respectable wizard is-”

Sirius's voice fades as anger slips away to a hot kind of betrayal. He digs his nails into his fists, making little half moons in his palm as he tries to even his breathing. That's when James spots him through the slightly open door.

“Hey idiot, shut up! Moony? Is that you?”

Remus takes a shaky breath as he steps into the room. Sirius turns very very white.

“You've really done it now, Black,” Peter says.

Remus promptly ignores him. James is tittering back and forth like a mother hen, looking for a solution that isn't there.

Remus forces a cold diplomatic smile, “I didn't know that's how you felt.”

“Moony,” Sirius croaks, not daring to move.

The room has dropped ten degrees as Remus picks up his bag from the floor near his bed.

“Don't worry, Black, I’ll make sure to stay away from you during my ‘time of the month’ and maybe the rest of the month as well,” he turns on his heel to look at James, “Just make sure he ties his goddamn ties we can't actually afford to lose this amount of house points.” And with that he turns on his heel and leaves.

He can hear James faded voice chiding Sirius, “I hope you're pleased with yourself.”

•••••••••


He'd really meant to go to the library he'd grabbed all his books but somehow he still ended up outside. It's practically freezing out, despite it only being October and Remus is not at all well dressed for the weather and far too miserable to cast a good warming charm. He'd rather brood in silence. He's been sitting on a bench near the Lake for the better part of 20 minutes when he hears a soft and familiar thudding noise. He glances to his right as Padfoot makes his way down the trail to him.

No matter how mad he is at Sirius, he can never be quite as mad at Padfoot which is quite ridiculous and not entirely logical but there's something about his brown eyes and the way he always listens to what Remus has to say. Well of course he listens he's a dog but regardless, just the reminder of the fact, the lengths, that Sirius, that all of them were willing to go for him, to support him, well it does make him a little soft.

 Padfoot approaches him and bows his head giving a soft whine before looking up quite pathetically, eyes wide. Lily Evans was right about Sirius’s puppy dog eyes she just has no idea the full extent. Remus can't imagine Sirius in his regular form looking half as apologetic, though Padfoot’s tail is curled under his belly and Remus takes that as a sign that at least part of it is genuine. Remus sighs, eyeing the creature in front of him warily. He reaches out to pet the top of the dog's head. Padfoot on his part leans into the touch, nosing forward and resting a shaggy chin on Remus’s leg. 

“You know using Padfoot to apologize feels like cheating,” Remus comments.

 Padfoot barks twice and then puts his head under Remus hand for more petting. Remus sighs again picking up his hand to run it through his own hair. Padfoot sits back and whines again, tilting his head to the side.

 “I'm not mad about what you think I am,” Remus tells him, “I don't care about Marlene. In fact I think she's great. You two are a phenomenal pair.”

 Padfoot paws at the dirt.

 “I just don't understand why you can't tuck in your shirt? Is that too much to ask? And the time of the month comment was not appreciated. You know you're not as funny as you think you are, sometimes you're just a dick.”

 Padfoot nods his head as if to signify that he agrees. Remus runs his hand through his hair again, before scratching Padfoot under the chin, then replacing his hands in his lap. He looks out to the Lake, avoiding unguarded, brown eyes.

 “Okay and I suppose it would have been nice to know about Marlene. I just- I don't want things to have to be weird between us. If you feel comfortable telling James and Peter I don't see why I should be any different,” he turns to steal a glance at Padfoot and jumps a little at the sight of Sirius sitting on the ground in front of him, fully human and very naked.

 “Sirius,” Remus says less evenly than he would have liked, “what are you doing?”

 Sirius doesn't say anything just crawls forward on his knees, positioning himself under Remus before grabbing the front of his robes with one hand and wrapping the other to the back of his neck and kissing him. Sirius mouth is somehow hot despite the chill and his breath smells like Padfoot's in a way that should be much more off putting than Remus actually finds it. He pulls away and Sirius smiles at him so genuine Remus can feel his heart swelling. I guess he doesn't need Padfoot to beg forgiveness Remus notes. Sirius’s hair is in every direction despite Remus notably not touching it. He does know though, fisting his right hand through it while he looks down at Sirius.

 “What am I going to do with you?” Remus mutters.

 Sirius just smiles and Remus puts his left hand on his cheek. Sirius leans into it in a way that mirrors Padfoot almost eerily identical but then Sirius turns his head to kiss the inside of Remus's open palm. He brings his other hand up to bring Remus's closer to him, to pin him into the caress.

 He speaks softly clutching his hand tight on top of Remus’s.

 “I should have told you. It’s just that we aren’t exactly I dunno together? And it didn’t seem like I was doing anything wrong. She just noticed I’d been single for longer than I ever usually am, I mean not that they ever last long anyway. I just wasn't sure what you'd-” he stops himself pressing his forehead into Remus's fingers “I'm sorry, that just sounds so selfish. I suppose it was though. I just, I can't lose you, Moony.”

 Remus swallows hard but Sirius continues, “I would have never gone after you if I thought it was going to hurt you or hurt our friendship but you know me…” Sirius shrugs, a face of innocence.

 Remus isn’t sure how good an excuse ‘you know me’ is.

 “We haven’t really talked about it, er- us I suppose. You never want to,” Sirius scratches the back of his neck, “I guess I didn’t think that there was a high level of commitment.”

 Remus laughs more for Sirius’s benefit than his and Sirius finally looks up at him again with his crooked grin.

 “What’s funny? Moony, I’m baring my soul here?”

 Remus can’t stop it’s absolutely ridiculous. And oh god, just the image of a naked Sirius, fall evening, lake in the back, looking dangerously close to putting Remus's fingers in his mouth. Remus could keep that as the background image of his mind. Maybe he’s laughing to avoid thinking. Sirius lip quivers into a pout, determined to say his piece.

“What I'm trying to tell you is that you mean a lot to me Lupin and sometimes I say dumb things and do dumb things but I care about you.”

 Remus runs a thumb across a sharp protruding cheekbone before asking the question that has been running through his mind through all of that.

 “Does Marlene know?”

 Sirius shifts under Remus's quiet stroking.

 “Does Marlene know what? That I'm an idiot? Yes I think she definitely knows that. Girls are really quite observant.”

 “No,” Remus says feeling Sirius go still under his hand “does she know about us?”

 Sirius frowns, confused, “Why would she need to know that?”

Remus sighs “oh Sirius,” he says fondly before letting go of the other boys face and standing, “I care about you, I really do, but what are we doing?,” he asks.

 Sirius blinks up at him, face clear. This is harder than he thought it would be, and he knew it was going to be difficult.

 “I just think it would be for the best if we continued on like last year before all,” Remus motions between the two of them “this. It’s just- it’s a lot right now and I don’t want you to have to walk around me and my feelings and I don’t want to have to worry so much about you, and I can’t help it. Thinking about where you are what you’re doing. You just make me so upset sometimes, with your stunts. It’s not even refined pranking!” Remus shakes his head, he’s getting off topic,

 “It just used to come so natural. Maybe it’s better if we take a break it doesn’t have to be long but just to refocus.”

 Sirius is looking at him eyes wider than ever, unmoving. For once in his life listening with 100% percent precise careful attention.

 “I just don't want it to be difficult,” and with his last ounce of nerve he bends down and kisses Sirius on the cheek softly then immediately gets up and starts the long walk back to the castle. He can feel Sirius eyes on him but he doesn't stop him, doesn't move. Remus for his part doesn't try to look back. He shivers and casts a warning charm as he goes but it doesn't make him feel any less frozen.  

 ••••••••••

Upon exiting the library Remus realizes it’s much later than he thought. In order to maintain his point to Sirius, he had to not go back on it. Which meant avoiding him since he was not certain he could stand up to his sad brown eyes twice in one day. So he had distracted himself with a few hours of light research. He could practically hear his friends howling responses, at that comment.

He quickly and gently opens the door to his room and slips in. The familiar sound of Peter’s soft snoring welcome him. The curtains to Sirius bed are drawn as he glances over, and James had bizarrely fallen asleep sitting up, his glasses resting ever so gently on the very tip of his nose. Remus shuffles across the room to his own bed and of course ends up stepping on a piece to a set of wizarding chess someone had left on the floor. He holds his foot, cursing, and grabbing onto his bed post for stability. The noise is apparently enough to jolt James awake.

His glasses fall of his face and into his lap as he blinks wearily, eyes fixated on him, “Remus?”

God he really did not want to have to do this right now. He turns to face James’s squinting form. The other boy turns on the low lamp at his bedside and puts the glasses back on his face.

“What time is it,” He asks bleary, “I must have fallen asleep, I was staying up waiting for you. Are you alright?”

It’s so James, that Remus feels a sudden and burning pang of affection for the boy.

Who shakes his head before continuing “I know Sirius is an arse, he can’t help it it’s in his nature and I know I should have told you about Mckinnon.”

Remus hadn’t even considered the fact Sirius had made the other two complicit in his actions. He wonders if he feels guilty over it. Remus thinks about the familiar feeling of shame that comes with having them in on his secret, his ‘time of the month’ as Sirius so delicately put it. He knows none of the others think of it like that, all they did last year with the animagi, he still can’t believe it sometimes. That he got this lucky.

James presses on despite Remus not quite meeting his eye, “I didn’t know how to say it. I wasn’t entirely certain what was going on you two. Sometimes you seem so normal and other times it’s- Did you make up?”

Remus closes his eyes and sighs not wanting to face the sincere concerned version of James’s that pops in ever so often to remind Sirius not to put his feet on the table or Peter to not be late to his classes or Remus to not stay out all night. He opens his eyes and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. James scoots over then immediately leans into Remus inspecting his face with steady eyes, lips pursed, brow furrowed. He can almost hear Sirius asking just exactly when Euphemia Potter got here. James would tackle him over the comment and they’d wrestle until they were tired of it, but then five minutes later would be back at it again. Over an even dumber comment.

“You shouldn’t stay out so late,” James says like he had been holding it back since Remus had gotten in the room and he just can’t hold it back anymore, “I know, I sound like my mom, but really, Remus, you overextend yourself.”

“I’m fine,” Remus says and James scowls predictably because really when will James ever take that as an acceptable answer.

“He apologized didn’t he? He wouldn’t tell me anything just came in all red and went straight to bed. Did you guys have a row? I did hear yelling but I didn’t want to make assumptions.”

“It was really all quite civil. He was Padfoot and then he wasn't, and I told him him how I felt,” Remus grinds out before amending, “how I needed it- how I need it to be fair,” he frowns before adding, “Whatever you heard it wasn't us.”

James tilts his head, “Mate, I know Sirius’s yelling voice and that was it.”

Then his eyes get big and he splutters, “Wait what do you mean he was Padfoot then he wasn't?”

Remus doesn't process the comment his mind is elsewhere, because who else would Sirius be yelling at, who else would care, who else is involved?

“Wait, Potter did you say the yelling was in the common room?”

“Yeah, about an hour ago.”

Right when Marlene McKinnon would have gotten out of choir practice.

“Sirius told Marlene,” Remus says simply, making the connection.

James is staring at him mouth open, he closes it slowly, considering, “You think?” He asks.

“Oh god Prongs,” Remus groans, before adding “you think she'll tell everyone?” In a voice he hated himself for, betraying how scared he actually was. Not that he was ashamed of Sirius, it was just...complicated.

James on the other hand, was thinking on it before shaking his head and saying, “No, I don't think she's the type. She's good people. She and Lily are very close.”

There's no higher testimony of one’s character to James than the respect of Lily Evans, perhaps this was due to the fact that no matter what he tried he could not quite obtain it.

Remus sucks in a breath, “I just didn't expect him to do it so soon.”

The or at all remains unspoken but James can feel it.

“From what I heard they must have reached an agreement. Let's not worry about it any more tonight,” James replies.

He knew James was trying to suppress what he had accidentally lit in Remus before the full on house fire of anxiety could start. James could smell the smoke. He nods at him and gets up, shucking off his robes and crawling into bed in a t-shirt and boxers. James turns off his lamp and sets down his glasses.

Then he turns to him and says, “so Breakfast should be interesting.”

Remus tosses a pillow at him, then fell asleep almost instantly to the glorious sound of James Potter laughing.

••••••••••


Remus's awakened to an empty dormitory, at the very least this meant he didn't have to deal with breakfast. It was Thursday so it wasn't exactly unusual to be alone. It's the day Peter had a morning Charms study group session and James had a morning ‘watching Lily Evans eat breakfast’ session. He had a free period, so did Sirius and they usually put the time to other use but Sirius wasn't here right now. The curtains were open and his bed was a heap of disarray. The whole thing was making Remus very uneasy. He dressed as quickly as possible and started the walk to the library to do some working, well and thinking, before class, when he heard a voice call his name. It was little warning for the Slytherin who pushes past him.

“Your whole lot is insane Lupin” Evan Rosier hissed as he waves a finger in Remus’s face, his own having gone quite red, “you’re a whole new brand of Gryffindor.”

Remus blinks barely having time to process the other students accusation.

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re on about Rosier, but it can’t be that bad if Gryffindor is the worst insult you have.”

“Pretty soon people aren’t going to keep brushing pasts these stunts.”

Rosier bares his teeth and turns away marching down to, Remus assumes, the Slytherin dorms.

It's a perplexing start to a day but it's not a too unusual, he supposes. He continues the walk to the library which he finds surprisingly vacant, though it's not a time he's usually in the library so maybe it's just not a prime studying time. He flips open his book but not fifteen minutes in, a wild eyed Peter stumbles up to him.

“Remus!” He exclaims, “I wasn't sure I'd find you here, but you weren't in the dorm so I figured,” he breaks off staring intently before demanding “Did you know?”

Remus furrows his brow, “know what? Peter, I'm going to need you to be a little more specific.”

“More specific! It's the only bloody thing anyone can talk about!” Peter throws up his hands.

“He must have told you. He tells you everything,” he says with a sigh.

“Uhhh If we are talking about who I think we are I can assure you that is far from the truth,” Remus says putting two and two together and crediting whatever the fuss is about to contain Sirius at the core.

“Well the important things, is what I mean,” Peter amends.

Remus raised a brow he'd almost be offended if it was anyone other than Peter.

“Did you help put it on?” Peter asks as though the answer could cure cancer.

“Wormtail, I haven't the faintest idea of what you are going on about.”

Peter is undeterred, “Do you know who's it is at least?” He pleads craving information on something Remus can't even begin to decipher.

“Who's what?” Remus asks cautiously, hoping for the situation to clear up, it's hard to get through to Peter when he's like this. He is quite easily excitable. Remus remembers him fainting at the Great Squid Incident of fourth year.

“Who's skirt!” Peter says.

Remus thinks he heard him wrong.

“Excuse me who's what? You said skirt? What do you mean who's skirt?” Remus asks rapid fire, suddenly intrigued rather than mildly amused.

Peter is a vault of buzzing energy trying to explain a situation seemingly beyond words for him. He makes a lot of hand gestures rocking on the balls of his feet slightly before bursting out with.

“The skirt. You know the skirt. The one he's in.”

This can not possibly be what Remus thinks it is, he tries to stay calm, putting what he hopes to be a steadying hand on Peter's arm. Though he can feel his grip going tight.

“Peter, I need you to tell me just who exactly is in a skirt today. And why it would be a noteworthy event that I, personally would have insight on.”

Peter is shaking under him but he squeaks out a response, “Moony, I don't think you've seen Sirius today.”

•••••••••••


Sirius is nowhere to be found, but not for lack of trying as Remus drags Peter all around the castle. He’s gone to practically every place he’s even just seen Sirius in- all except one. Remus stops and a weary Peter tries to catch his breath.

“Moony, we do have charms in half an hour,” he manages to get out.

“One last stop,” Remus replies.

He tugs him down a passage of hallways, it's out of the way, but Remus could find them blindfolded. They lead to what seems to be an old now abandoned potions classroom. Remus knows it’s technically supposed to be a study hall, but it’s much too far out of the way and decrepit for any proper visitors. There’s a dripping in the room as Remus opens the door and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. It’s empty. Peter pokes his head beneath where Remus’s arm holds the door open, scoping out the room, before ducking under and stepping into it.

“Why would Sirius be in this gross empty classroom?” Peter asks hopping on the big oak desk in the center of the room.

Remus tenses, he really did not think this through. What if Sirius had been here? Why would he have brought Peter?

“Moony,” Peter interrupts legs swinging “Why would he be here it’s so far out of the way. No one comes to this part of the castle.

Remus opens his mouth but no sound comes out. Peter stares at him a minute before his eyes go wide and he jumps off the desk.

“Oh god oh god,” he mutters pushing past Remus back out into the hallway.

Remus sucks on his bottom lip and lets the door close as Peter frantically jumps up and down shaking his arms.

“Why did you let me touch stuff? Why would you bring me here? To your weird-” he glances to both sides before whispering, “ _Sex_ classroom!”

Remus is not entirely sure why he brought Peter here either. He opens his mouth and then closes it. Unsure of how to remedy the situation. Peter throws his hands up.

“Unbelievable, he doesn’t even deny it.” he says to no one in particular.

“Come on,” Remus responds, “We’re going to be late to charms.

They settled into Professor Flitwick’s classroom, shockingly ten minutes early, Remus could not stop his leg from bouncing if he tried. His neck was snapping to look every time he heard the door. Peter sat in the seat next to him looking straight ahead as if still recovering from the last class room he had been in. It wasn’t like Sirius was ever early to class but he did usually show up. This was one of the two classes Gryffindor shared with Slytherin that all four marauders were in, the other being potions. The door opened and Remus head swiveled to see a windswept James Potter. Who strode across the room and collapsed into the desk in front of Remus.

“Is this real life? Moony, mate I need you to tell me if this is a dream.” James says, turning to face Remus, “This day just can't be real”

This seemed to attract Peter’s attention who pitches in with, “So you’ve seen Sirius?”

James waves a hand dismissively, “Yeah I saw him, right before yours truly, walked Lily Evans to class.”

Remus is a tad taken aback, speaking up against James’s starry eyes, “Er, but about Sirius, he is-”

“You don’t understand,” James interrupts, “Lily Evans let me, ME, walk her to class, and it was normal, casual, we talked.”

Remus shares a glance with Peter before letting out an elongated “Okay?”

“No, it was- Remus, it was everything.”

Professor Flitwick walks in placing a large book on his desk. Typical, Remus thinks before snapping his fingers in front of James.

“Potter, true or false, is Sirius Black really in,” he leans in “a skirt?”

James continues smiling at the air, “She touched my arm,” he says solemnly.

Remus puts his forehead against the desk as Flitwick clears his throat to begin lecturing. Just then the door opens, Remus’s feels his head shoot up, as Severus Snape enters the room. Remus has seen Severus in a lot of states throughout the years, a variety of greasy, greasy states, but he’s unsure if he’s ever seen him like this. It was the face of a man at wits end. He stands in the doorway for a moment the entire class staring.

“Mister Snape,” Flitwick begins, “I should hope you have a late pass.

Severus’s hands were void, as he clutched his bag with white knuckles. Before he could say anything a voice from down the hall calls out.

“Oi, Snivelus, Could you slow down? I do have our pass, and walking in this is harder than it looks.”

Remus stomach drops, as the face that voice belongs to shoves Snape aside to enter the classroom. That face attached to an undeniably male body, in an undeniably female uniform. Remus felt his confusion as a palpable thing. All the images his mind had conjured up in the past 45 minutes did nothing to prepare himself for Sirius Black at the front of his charms classroom in a pleated skirt. Sirius who scans the classroom and puts on his most self assured smirk to walk across the classroom and hand Flitwick the note.

“We got caught up in a rather interesting conversation with Professor Slughorn about the origin of the kilt. Heaven knows how we got on that subject,” he sends a wink to the class and they eat it up.

There’s a few hoots and barely concealed giggles. Flitwick looks stricken and sweaty as he grabs the note from Sirius’s hand.

“Good thing I had Snape here to accompany me to your class, Professor. It’s really so hard to find a gentleman these days.”

He gives the class a sidelong glance and Remus swears he’s three seconds away from adding ‘Amiright Ladies?’ to the end of that statement. Snape looks like he might actually be sick as he sweeps past the laughter to his seat in the back corner.

“I can’t believe Sirius can still take him down dressed like bird,” Peter whispers to him.

Remus doesn’t reply. Remus can’t reply. All he can do is stare at Sirius’s long muscular bare legs. James was right. This day can’t possibly be real. Sirius cocks a hip, relishing in the attention.

Flitwick hands the note back before adding a hurried, “Please take a seat Mr. Black.”

Sirius puts his dark eyes on the teacher, “Of course, Professor, and again I am _so_ sorry for the interruption. You’re class is one of my favorites.”

Sirius towers over him, looking down through his lashes.

“That bastard,” breathes James, smile wide as he shakes his head in disbelief. “He’s completely mad.”

Flitwick has gone completely red, “er, thank you, Mis- Mister Black,” he really is sweating, “I do hope you don’t need an escort to find your seat.”

“Why?” Sirius says, placing a hand on the desk and pushing out his ass, all dazzling white teeth, “You offering?”

It’s at this point the class can no longer hold back laughter. Peter looks like he’s going to cry and James starts openly applauding. Sirius takes a step forward, high fiving various classmates before giving a small salute to James then sliding into the desk next to his. Directly diagonal from Remus. Giving him a perfect view of Sirius. Sirius Black, who is at the moment in a skirt. Sirius Black who hasn’t looked at him once since walking into his charms classroom. Who walked into his charms classroom in a skirt, with Severus Snape. This day is definitely not real.

•••••••••


Remus isn’t sure how an hour and twenty minutes can be going by simultaneously endlessly, and in a single moment. He could not tell you a single thing out of Flitwick’s mouth as he spends half the time openly gaping at Sirius, and the other half chiding himself for openly gaping at Sirius. Sirius for his part is playing it up, crossing and uncrossing his legs, adjusting his skirt. He knows full well, he’s in Remus’s line of sight but he does not look back once. Remus can’t decide between being furious or thankful. When Remus’s personal purgatory ends, he gets up immediately, exiting the classroom. Somehow he only makes it to number three on the list of people desperate to escape as Flitwick and Snape couldn’t have been paid 1,000 galleons to be in that classroom a minute longer. He leans against the brick wall on the outside of the classroom counting his breaths as students mill out, with little exception all discussing Sirius Black. Remus sinks to a sitting position as James walks out in the hall to stand over him.

“Moony? You good? You look like you might pass out,” James questions, nudging Remus’s leg with his toe.

“He’s not even half as sweaty as Flitwick! Did you see him?” Peter says having followed James out.

“It’s totally next level,” James nods “Padfoot is untouchable.”

Remus isn’t quite sure how he feels about the whole thing. There’s a choir of voices as the man of the hour strolls out of the Charms classroom. He’s surrounded by overlapping questions and compliments, _Where’d you get the idea? Blimey, Black your legs are quite long. And you haven’t gotten in trouble at all? Flitwick’s face! Whose skirt is it? What’s your workout regiment? You’re sure it’s not against the handbook? What size are you? Mate, your ass has me questioning things._

Sirius turns on the group and smiles, “My brilliant mind, why thank you, no, It was pretty good. Marlene, quidditch, yes, 8, and as it should.”

The crowd falls silent and Sirius throws a wink at the fellow who asked the last question, who looks utterly shocked Sirius had managed to hear what he said much less respond in the chaos.

“Now, now, I’ll have plenty of time to converse later, and I’m sure you lot have classes to go to,” He motions them away with his hand and the crowd disperses shortly.

Sirius brushed knuckles with James as he walks up next to Peter finishing the half circle around Remus still on the floor. He clasps Peter on the back before finally looking down at Remus for the first time that day.

“Something the matter, Moony?” Sirius asks sickly sweet.

The utter bastard, Remus looks away trying to steady his breathing, James coughs the sound echoing down the hall. Peter flicks him.

Sirius ignores them, peering down at Remus before adding “Trying to see up my skirt, Lupin? You wouldn’t be the first.”

Remus rises to his feet, evening their eye contact, “Nothing I haven’t seen before, Black.”

“Guys, guys, save it for that west side third floor potions classroom,” Peter interjects.

Sirius furrows his brow and turns to Remus a million questions written on his face.

“Yeah that’s right, for some reason that’s where I ended up this morning, thanks for that, Black.”

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re speaking of Wormtail,” Sirius says.

Remus refuses to meet any of Sirius’s questioning looks. He’s uncertain of how things plan on playing out after yesterday’s conversation, and he has yet to unpack the Marlene situation fully, and that was all before the skirt entered the picture.

He turns to James “So, how did you end up walking Lily Evans to class?”

Peter seems a little disappointed they aren’t addressing the origins of the pleated elephant in the room but James is more than happy to discuss Lily at any time.

“Well, I woke up early to go get breakfast-”

“And by that you mean watch Lily Evans eat breakfast and attempt to telepathically force her to fall madly in love with you?,” Sirius interjects.

James hits him in the gut.

“Anyway, as I was heading down to breakfast, I’m walking past the slytherin table and that’s when I overhear Evan Rosier say to Regulus something something, ‘what's it like to have a poof for a brother? I saw him flouncing down the halls in an actual skirt’ and Reg’s all ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ and I go over half ready to smash Rosier’s smarmy face in because he clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and then this prick shows up and waltzes over, of course he actually is in a bloody skirt, so I look like an ass. Rosier’s as smug as ever and poor Reg looks terrified and then,” James whips around to point at Sirius, “He has the audacity to ask his brother whether or not he thinks he could fit into their mum’s stuff!”

“I was kidding! He’s my brother we’re supposed to take the piss out of each other.” Sirius defends.

“Oh yeah are you also supposed to hit on your brother’s bullies?” James demands.

“He was not bullying Reg, They are in the same house, and I wasn’t even hitting on him Potter! If I was you’d know,” Sirius responds.

“Yeah okay, you asked him if he could do up your zip in the back,” James says unimpressed.

“I was concerned! These things are harder to put on then they look!” Sirius argues.

“Well why wouldn’t you have asked me!” James demands, throwing up his hands.

“Why Potter, I didn’t realize you were so eager to touch me,” he leans over Peter to whisper into James ear for the last bit and James ducks down to stand behind Remus.

“Do not use me as a shield, Potter,” Remus says because his friends are children.

“Yeah listen to mom, coward,” Sirius adds, quite unnecessarily in Remus’s opinion.

Peter pipes in, “So how did Lily come into this?”

James purses his lips and puts a hand on his hip, “Are we all ready to listen?” he asks.

“Yes, Euphemia,” Sirius and Peter chorus.

James glares and turns to Remus to continue his all important account of this morning's events.

“Anyway, I got him away from Rosier before he could signal his cronies to come, then we’d really have been in trouble.”

“We could have taken em,” Sirius interjects.

“Are you going to let me tell them what happened?” James turns on his heel to face Sirius.

“Well I’m just saying,” Sirius mutters before zipping his lip with his hand.

“As I was saying we leave the Great Hall and I turn and I'm like ‘Black you've finally lost it, why on earth are you in a girl's uniform?’ And get this he says ‘well Moony wanted me to stop getting dress coded’ as though this was the rational solution! Anyway as we're walking you won't believe who we run into but Lily Evans!” James exclaims.

“We didn’t run into her, I told you I was meeting her.”

James ignores Sirius’s latest interruption though personally Remus would quite like to know why Sirius would be meeting up with Lily Evans. He also has a variety of questions on how on Earth a girls uniform prevents dress code violations.

“And she’s all ‘lovely seeing you gents, on this beautiful morn, if it is not too much of a bother, I would really love it if only someone could accompany me to Professor Slughorn’s for I have this proof to return. I worked on it into the wee hours and it has just been perfected, If only someone, someone I can trust, could watch my back as I turn in this most valuable assignment’ and being the gentleman, I am of course I volunteer to go with her. Oh and I guess Sirius was also there”

“Okay why does his impression of Lily sound simultaneously like a maiden from the 1800’s, and Dumbledore,” Peter whispers.

Sirius snorts and James glares.

“It happened just like that, as you heard I too, was also there,” Sirius adds nodding, holding up his hand as if taking an oath.

“We get to the potions classroom, so she can give him her proof but Snape was there, and I’ve dealt with Snivelus a lot but he could sense the chemistry between me and Lily. He was positively murderous!”

They all glance at Sirius, waiting for him to interject.

“No, it was actually that uncomfortable.”

James continues, “He’s radiating like dark energy and Lily’s uncomfortable, I’m uncomfortable on her behalf, Black’s in a skirt, it’s a whole situation. So she tries to drop it off all ‘I’m so sorry to interrupt’ and Slughorn’s like ‘Nonsense my dear always a pleasure, I was helping Severus brew that same potion-” and then he catches sight of Sirius and he lights up like christmas. You guys have no idea, he pulls out an old photo album and makes us all sit down and look at pictures of him at his second cousin’s wedding from like 80 years ago, where he wore a kilt. He starts like telling Sirius how he thinks it is so ‘interesting, and brave, to be able to embrace such unique style choices so openly’ and Lily gets really antsy and I’m like do you want me to walk you to History of Magic? And she said yes!”

“You left out the part where she asked you how you knew her schedule,” Sirius adds.

“The questions she may or may not have asked me don’t matter, what matters is she said yes. Guys! this is real progress!” James says so earnestly its almost hard to make fun of him.

Key word almost.

“You know I’ve walked her to class a countless number of times right?” Remus adds.

James rolls his eyes, “Yeah like clases you have together or after prefect duty. This was a genuine run in and then walk to class.”

“If we’re really taking walking to class as a sign of attraction then her and Severus we’re definitely hooking up 4th year, because he walked her to class everyday,” Peter points out.

James seems to consider this before lunging for Peter who just manages to squirrel out of his reach. And they take off running down the hall. Leaving Sirius and Remus suddenly very alone in the hallway. He doesn't give Sirius the luxury of speaking first.

“Are you really in a girls uniform for my benefit?” He asks.

Sirius seems surprised but he grins, “something like that. But did you really take Peter to the sex classroom?”

Remus flushes before biting out, “We were looking for you! I thought you were there!”

Sirius blinks and raises an eyebrow, “Why on earth would you bring him to our sex classroom if you thought I was in there?”

“I don’t know!” Remus says, “Also stop calling it the sex classroom.”

“What do you call it?” Sirius questions.

Remus isn’t quite sure, he ends up with an unsure “Our study room?”

Sirius snorts, “Yeah, okay, a hell of a lot of studying you do there. Oh Yes, our dark secluded study room, where we occasionally hook up but oh no most of our time is of course spent studying. I don’t even think there's an acceptable writing surface in that room!”

“There's the desk,” Remus volunteers.

Sirius looks at him, “Moony, look me in the eye and tell me right now that you could really, and I mean really concentrate while working on that particular desk.”

Remus shrugs, “Peter sat on it.”

Sirius does a double take and his eyes go cartoonishly big while Remus suppresses a smile.

“You mean to tell me, you let Peter, our Peter, baby boy, sit on the Oak desk, in our sex classroom,” Sirius says in utter disbelief

“Our study area,” Remus corrects.

“Oh my god,” Sirius says, “He sat on the desk.”

“He really did,” Remus agrees.

“He doesn’t. He just. He has no idea what has happened on that desk. What you have done to me on that desk,” Sirius runs his hand through his hair “Christ, Remus that’s absolutely chilling.”

“What is?” Peter said, slightly red from just escaping James grasp.

Sirius puts a hand on his shoulder, “Those scratch marks on the left side of the desk.”

Peter instantly deflates.

“All mine,” Sirius whispers, “all mine, baby.”

Remus is suppressing a laugh with everything in him. Peter looks like he might cry.

“I’ll never be able to take enough showers,” he responds, haunted.

James returns just as footsteps start down the hall.

“Lily,” he says.

“What do you mean Lil-” Remus begins before Lily Evans turns the corner slightly taken aback when she realizes all four boys are already staring at her.

“Uh, hello?” She calls, pausing momentarily before she continues walking.

Sirius starts examining the hemline of his skirt while James can't seem to draw his eyes away from Lily.

“Peter,” she says nodding at him in a form of greeting.

He smiles at her relishing in being the first addressed.

She finally glances at James, “Potter,” she says.

He's practically glowing, despite her very specific use of just his surname.

“Remus,” she says turning to face him, “Do you think you could take my shift this afternoon? I have some business to attend to.”

Remus nods, because really he could use the thinking space and Lily really is a saint. She smiles before grabbing Sirius by the wrist.

“Come on Black, I do believe we have an appointment.”

Sirius gulps, “See you on the flip side fellas.”

Lily laughs and she leads him down the hallway ducking around the corner.

“What do you think that was about,” Peter asks when they're out of eyesight.

“I told you we had a real breakthrough earlier,” James says exasperated.

“He means what does Lily want with Black,” Remus amends.

“Oh I'm not sure,” James says absently “What would she want with Sirius?”

Remus rolls his eyes and Peter starts to grin.

“Maybe he's walking her to class,” he volunteers innocently.

This time James does manage to grab him putting him into a headlock.

Remus is going to get a headache from the sheer amount of eye rolls this day is inducing. He checks his watch, he's beyond late to Transfiguration.

“I'm off to class,” he calls to the still fighting boys.

“Oh Moony, you still going to meet me after quidditch practice?”

“Yes, James,” Remus replied like he didn't meet him there every week, well most weeks, he was known to occasionally get wrapped up in studying, or thought. He waves to his friends before heading down the hallway, he has some serious thinking to do, pun intended.

••••••••••


Transfiguration goes by in a blur as does most of the rest of the day. Mcgonagall doesn't even bother asking why he's late just eyes him before instructing him to take a seat. The rest of his classes had been a blessed distraction. And prefect duty after that had been empty contemplation. All and all Remus feels he has mainly come to terms with Sirius’s most recent stunt. That’s right when footsteps start and he looks up to see Thomas Fleck, a seventh year ravenclaw, walking towards where he stands in the hall outside of the locker rooms, waiting for James.

He gives Remus a long look, before saying, "You know I thought they were kidding when I heard things about you and Black but after seeing his ass in that skirt I can't blame you, mate."

Remus blinked. He was more than a little surprised. In fact Remus was quite caught off guard by the statement. No one had really called him out so directly on his relationship with Sirius. They'd get sly remarks, meant to cut them down, people thinking, that's it! That's the way to put one over on a marauder, but Sirius would look at them, grinning wicked and proceed to describe in detail everything he wanted to do with and to Remus's cock. Which usually caused the attacker to turn as red as they were hoping Sirius would turn. And even just casual comments and lighter jokes about just how touchy the two of them were, would end up with Sirius straight faced turning around and reciting love sonnets, which only caused Remus to go quite red.

He wasn't sure what people thought of it. But he was certain no one had really considered it as an option. They just blocked out the open admission, wrote it off as a joke, sometimes Remus felt like someone could walk in on Sirius and him and still play it off as a laugh. Those marauders are _really_ dedicated to their jokes. Besides no way Sirius Black, punk, prankster, and ladies man could actually be sleeping with Gryffindor prefect Remus Lupin. I mean if he was having sex with one of his friends it would certainly be James. The Lily Evans thing had to be a cover, no one’s that devoted to one girl, who won't give them the time of day.

Thomas clears his throat and Remus is pulled out of his thoughts to realize he has  just been staring at the boy with his mouth slightly agape.

“So it's true you're tapping the finest ass in all of Gryffindor house?”

Remus felt a firm hand clasp his shoulder and turned two seconds before James responds to Fleck for him.

“I do not play as much quidditch as I do for everyone to Rank Black’s ass over mine.”

Remus wasn’t grateful enough to resist rolling his eyes. Thomas gave James a quick once over and then grimaces at the smug look on his face.

“I dunno about that Potter,” He says with a bit of a grimace as he backs away.

James frowns, “You didn’t even look at my ass!” he protests.

But Thomas had checked out of the conversation and is down the hall rounding the bend. James stares after him glowering, before leaning into Remus as his arm was, still around him.

“Sirius wear one skirt and suddenly everybody’s all over him! That’s the fourth time today I’ve overheard some bloke talking about his ass! Yeah, it’s a good laugh, but people are actually interested in him now! Over this!” James purses his lips before continuing matter of factly, “He’s not even that attractive really, he looks like a shaggy dog.”

“Well he is a shaggy dog, at least part time,” Remus says.

“This is ridiculous. Practically no one has given him a hard time! I mean not that they should but I dunno a bloke in a skirt isn’t exactly normal,” James continued

“Well we are technically in Scotland,” Remus muses.

James stops for a moment to think swinging his arm off of Remus’s shoulder, “I guess, you are right about that.”

He pauses again before continuing, “Do you think it’s the skirt? Maybe it just I dunno elevates.”

“Well I do not think Snape would pull off a skirt quite as well as Sirius.”

“Hell Moony, I don’t need those kinds of images,” James moans.

“What? I thought the skirt elevated?” Remus presses.

James’s eyes get wide, “I wanted to live a life where I never, even in my mind had to see those pale, pale legs bare.”

“Well when you put it like that,” Remus says, “You know it’s kinda funny how much of a stir he’s causing just by putting on a skirt, it’s comparable to the great squid debacle of fourth year.”

James gasps and clutches his hand to his chest, “Moony! You don’t mean that!” James says looking at him head on, “You do know you’re the king of pranks right? He’s all dazzle and no substance! I want you to know I will blindly follow your mad genius anywhere and the Great Squid Debacle of fourth year has earned its great for a reason, remember that.”

Remus snorts, “I’ll keep that in mind, Prongs”

“Now,” James says face trained neutral, “I would really like to focus on how unbearable Sirius is going to be with everyone fawning over him! I’m talking, even more unbearable than usual.”

“Don’t look at me. I don’t really understand it either,” he shrugs.

“Moony,” James deadpans “You did not make me put up with ‘Prongs, do you reckon Moony fancies me?’ every time you were out of the room all of last year to give me that as a response, in my time of crisis!”

Remus sputters, “He definitely never said that to you.”

James takes a break from pouting to grin. It was a frightening switch that made Remus suddenly very uneasy.

“Oh, Moony, Moony, Moony Moony, You have no idea how much one Mr. Black talks about you. It’s really quite embarrassing, I mean on his part. Though not quite as embarrassing as this sad grab at most handsome marauder.”

Remus doesn't have the energy to process exactly what James was saying, so he simply grabs his arm and pulls him in the direction of the center of the castle.

“Come on your highness, you two can argue all about it over dinner.”

••••••••


As they walked into the Great Hall, Sirius and Peter were already sitting, with a surprisingly pleased looking Marlene McKinnon and Lily Evans. Sirius himself was practically preening, like a large sloppy peacock, and Peter looked incredibly small and nervous next to him. When Sirius saw them his smile turned a little manic as he stood and waved them over.

“I wonder what fresh hell awaits us,” James whispers as they get closer to the spot the group was. Frank Longbottom and his girlfriend Alice, sit on Sirius’s other side looking vaguely amused despite themselves.

“Well, well, if it isn’t my second and third favorite roommates, I’ll let you fight over who’s who.” He says winking before pulling Remus down to sit beside him and stage whispering “You’re number two.”

To which James replies quite loudly “I heard that,” before attempting to turn and walk to the other side of the table in an obvious grab to sit as close as possible to Lily Evans. Remus is surprised he hadn’t spotted her and pulled them that way initially.

“Potter!” Sirius says, “You can’t leave, you haven’t felt them yet.”

“What are you on about?” James replies hands in his pockets, both antsy and unimpressed.

Sirius smiles wildly before slinging one boot clad leg into Remus’s lap in a smooth but quite undignified motion.

“My legs,” he hisses.

Remus stares at Sirius’s, still grinning face as he nods encouragingly, and then looks down at the leg in his lap. It was certainly familiar, bare and well actually just that, bare. It appeared Sirius had… shaved? He looks up to Sirius again brow furrowed.

“My God, Potter, just touch it. All the rest of us have,” Marlene calls from across from them through a mouthful of bread.

Alice giggles, and Peter starts nodding furiously.

Marlene’s voice had startled Remus as he hadn’t realized James hand was hovering a few inches above Sirius’s leg. James scowls before closing the distance.

“I don’t see what the big- oh my this is actually quite soft, mate, do you moisturize?” James questions stroking the six inches of bare calf between Sirius’s knee and his Doc Martens.

Sirius was practically radiating joy.

“I didn’t know skin could be this soft,” James bends down into a crouch next to Remus and continues admiring Sirius’s naked leg. Sirius in turn kicks his other leg over Remus’s, positioning himself halfway into his lap, offering up his other calf to James.

“I’m serious, what kind of razor did you use?” James questions, without looking up.

“I thought I was Sirius,” Sirius practically purrs.

“Sod off Black you know what I mean,” James says.

“Well I’d also appreciate it if you watched your hands, Mr. Potter,” Sirius responds shoving James hand down a few inches from where it had briefly ventured underneath Sirius’s skirt.

James doesn't even bother looking embarrassed.

“It’s not a razor, It’s waxing, followed by this miracle potion. Lily invented it in our third year. It works miracles, even as you can see on our most difficult client yet, that was a jungle when we started.” Marlene explains then takes a bite of potatoes before continuing,  “I swear to god it works twice as well on Lily as it does on anyone else. She has the skin of a newborn baby.”

Lily smiles down into her plate, quietly pleased as she cuts into her piece of chicken.

“It’s just from using it for a longer time than everyone else I’m sure,” she replies somehow both smug and innocent.

Marlene raises a brow at her but says nothing. On the other hand the newly acquired knowledge that Lily Evans legs were over two times as soft as the ones he was currently touching seems to remind James of his real mission, and he quickly gets up and starts the embarrassingly long walk around the table. Marlene rolls her eyes before fixing them on Remus.

“Lupin all of us includes you,” she says, nodding once after as if giving him the go ahead.

Remus suddenly feels very tense, as if everyone is watching him. He looks up only to confirm everyone is, in fact watching him. It's probably better to get this over with, it's not like he's never touched Sirius before. He brings his hand to his right knee. It's not quite unfamiliar hairless, but it's also not really explicitly any more feminine. Not that knees are a very gendered body part. He moves his hand down in a smooth stroke. His skin is nice. He swallows and draws his hand away. Sirius in true Padfoot fashion honest to god whimpers in protest. Remus nearly does a double take before looking at the other boy one eyebrow high to communicate the unsaid _Really?_

“Get a room you two,” Marlene calls, pointing her fork accusingly, though there's no real menace behind it.

Remus still flushes and pulls farther away, well attempts to but Sirius just throws an arm carelessly around his neck and leans into the table.

“Jealous?” He questions.

“You wish, Black,” she shoots back.

“Actually,” Sirius says reflectively “No, that would make my life a great degrees more difficult, and quite unnecessarily so, since there is enough of me to go around,” He finishes by making eyes at Thomas Fleck who is staring at him all the way across the hall.

      Marlene laughs and Remus smiles despite himself somehow miraculously not as traumatized by the events unfolding as he once might have been. Merlin, maybe James is rubbing off on him. James who actually does seem to be having what appears to be a conversation with Lily Evans. Well on further examination is more just staring at her as she has a conversation with Peter and Alice.  

Sirius pushes his floppy hair into Remus’s face leaning over to reach for something across the table. He sputters mouth full of curls.

“Honestly Black you behave like an overgrown hound who still thinks he’s a lap dog,” James calls out. Attention pulled by Lily’s gaze being drawn to the fact, Sirius is stealing food right off of her plate.

“There’s plenty of bread on your side of the table,” he adds.

Sirius settles back down still leaning heavily against Remus, and replies through his toast,

“Yeah but Evans, cuts it so nicely, plus I feel we really bonded today, she’s seen my most vulnerable, my very core.”

“Oh yes the hairy hairy core,” mutters Peter.

“I’m happy to offer my bread and my shoulder to cry on Black,” Lily says carefully already buttering a new piece of bread.

Peter, and James gape at her while Marlene grins wildly. Sirius groans and buried his face into Remus’s neck before the latter can even figure out why.

Alice turns to Sirius nodding, “Oh don’t worry I cried the first time I got waxed too,” she says sympathetic.

James eyes are practically glowing with this new information.

Lily takes note and adds, “Potter, don’t make too much fun of him it really does hurt the first time, you have to get used to it, It’s not a big deal everyone cries. Even boys.”

“Believe me we know Black can cry,” Peter says nodding.

“He’s been known to be quite weepy,” Frank adds.

“I have yet to attend a quidditch match he hasn’t bawled at,” Marlene says.

“And it just so happens that today was the second to last day of our bet, on if one Sirius Black could go two weeks without shedding a tear, you got any bills in that skirt, Mate? Because I do believe you owe me 15 galleons.”

Sirius flips off James without looking up. Remus rolls his eyes. Nudging the other boy with his shoulder.

“Oh come off it you big baby, you lost in the first day, If I do recall you in bed full on waterworks over my copy of WIthering Heights,” Remus reveals.

Sirius lifts his head, “you said you wouldn’t tell him!”

“Yeah, only because you were crying! Besides you’ve already lost at this point.”

“You’re all villains,” Sirius moans, throwing himself into Remus’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, Pads, I think that guy at the Ravenclaw table would probably give you 15 galleons, just for speaking to him,” Peter says.

They all turn their attention to Thomas Fleck who is indeed still staring quite intensely, he does have the sense to turn away when the attention of the group is put on him.

“Lay off my fans, they can’t help it,” Sirius calls “I mean, you really can’t blame the bloke.”

Marlene throws a crescent roll at him.

“What are you even going to do with my money, Prongs? Take exactly no one on a date.” Sirius says softly before taking a long sip of tea.

Remus doesn't like the way it walks the line between teasing and genuine mockery with Lily right there and the open secret of his affection pulsing uncomfortably over them. But James just smiles.

“You never know, Black” he says, before catching Remus’s eye and winking, “what do you say Moony? Me, you, Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop.”

Remus smiles easily, “How can I say no to such a high roller Potter?”

Lily gives a genuine laugh at Sirius’s sputter of indignance.

“Really, Moony? Just following the money?” Sirius says leaning away from Remus who just shrugs.

“You have to respect the grind,” Peter says solemnly complete with a little bow.

“I should wear a skirt more often, it brings out everyone’s true colors,” Sirius says shaking his head.

Remus smiled at the ridiculous pout he has on and pats his cheek, “I’m sure you’ll live.”

The rest of dinner goes by with mild excitement, light banter and a medium amount of mockery. When everyone seems finished and the desserts start disappearing. James practically falls over himself for the opportunity to walk with Lily back to the common room.

“Sure, but I don’t know if I’d call it walking me if you’re already going the same way,” Lily says a bit bemused at the somber way James is taking the matter, “anyone else for the common room?” She asks.

James shoots everyone a crazed look from behind her shoulder that caused exactly no one to volunteer to accompany them.

“Marlene?” She says.

Marlene checks her manicure apparently not too keen on rescuing Evans tonight. Lily sighs and narrows in on the weakest link.

“Peter, didn’t you say you wanted me to show you that move in wizard chess?” She offers.

“Actually Pettigrew and I are going to the library, huge project in Charms next week,”Marlene says standing up, not a drop of sympathy in her tone.

“We do?” Peter says, “I could have sworn we just had a quiz last we-“

Marlene interrupts the thought grabbing the back of Peters collar tugging him to his feet. Peter scrambles, “Right, right, we do! We do!”

Marlene shrugs as if to say _what can you do._

“Sirius, Remus?” Lily says turning, voice a bit desperate.

James is looking increasingly concerned from behind her, face comically trying to communicate something that remains entirely foreign to Remus.

“We have some studying to attend to,” Sirius says linking his arm in Remus’s and standing them up.

“Oh yeah I’m sure you too are doing a lot of studying,” Peter says.

“Headed to a certain West Side, third floor potions classroom,” Marlene asks with a cocked eyebrow.

Remus can feel his face getting red. He glances at Sirius who is opens his mouth and then closes it. He detached his arm from his.

“I didn’t realize that was such a _public_ study space,” Remus shoots words stiff looking from Marlene to Sirius.

Marlene pales “oh no Remus, it’s not like that.”

Remus shakes his head, “If you’ll excuse me I have something to attend to.”

He gets up and heads for the nearest door, ignoring the protests from all members of the party and especially ignoring Sirius fervent call’s of “Moony”

••••••••••


By the time Sirius finds him Remus has settled in front of the window of the hallway at the halfway point from Gryffindor tower and the transfiguration classroom, the one he always walks on patrol, the one he instinctively goes to, to think. Remus could remember hearing him come but it had felt farther away. He sneaks a glance to confirm his suspicions as Sirius positions himself on the ledge next to Remus, cross legged on the wide space.

“Okay, Moony, in this case it’s actually not what you think,” he starts, “Like, really this time it’s not.”

Remus snorts still not looking at Sirius, “Not using Padfoot this time? Couldn’t find a way to sneak a dog into the castle?”

“I never took her there if that’s what you think. I just told her about Peter and the desk when Lily was waxing my legs, I thought they’d find it funny, I wouldn’t take her there. That’d be fucked even for me.”

Remus examines a spot on the floor.

“Moony?” Sirius asks.

“I can hear you, I understand, Its- Its whatever you know, it’s not a big deal. Take her there if you want,” Remus says shrugging.

“Merlin, Moony, I wouldn’t do that, you should know, I wouldn’t do that to you,” Sirius laments.

Remus examines his cuticles, “Really, Black, it doesn’t matter, it’s not like we’re an us really, I don’t know why you even bothered telling Marlene, or Lily for that matter.”

Sirius blows out a breath, “Moony, look at me.”

Remus does not move to turn, he keeps his eyes trained forward as he can feel Sirius leaning over him, right in front of his face, yearning for even a second of eye contact, but Remus knows better by now. By the time he meets those brown eyes, the highground is gone.

“Remus, please.”

Remus does not know if it’s the please or his rarely used first name that causes him to allow Sirius hand under his jaw, guiding him into facing the other boy. Sirius snorts when he looks at him and sees that Remus’s eyes still remain firmly closed.

“I’m being sincere here would you just look at me,” Sirius says.

Remus opens his eyes, “Sincere? I thought you would have gone for serious?”

“I didn’t really feel like it was the right time for name jokes” Sirius says softly, brushing his thumb under Remus’s jaw.

“My, my, you really are turning over a new leaf,” Remus says but Sirius does not laugh this time.

“Okay, Remus, just let me get this out, I think I owe you an apology,” Sirius says “And I mean a proper one.

Remus swallows but does not interrupt as Sirius looks straight on at him.

“I get that I should have told you about Marlene, but it’s more than that I should have told you how I feel about you.”

Remus blinks slowly wondering if this is in fact really happening, he is unsure if this moment could be categorized in his top ten best or worst, as he’s pretty sure it’s the most embarrassing and flattering thing that has ever happened.

“I know you don’t like to talk about feelings so much, you just like to hold it in, or be angry, which is fair in most cases but Remus, I don’t want to go back to how things were like you said before, I think you’re too important to me for that. I like knowing you, I like playing chess, and watching quidditch and eating meals with you, I like watching you study, and I really like fake studying with you too,”

Remus snorts at that, because it all feels so fantastically wrong that Sirius Black is confessing his feelings to him right now. Sirius Black is smiling at him like he carries the sun in his throat.

“I just didn’t know how to go on not telling you that. So I went other places, to other people to give my compliments, the things I want to say to you. I know that was wrong and I know that I do ridiculous things sometimes to get your attention, but Moony, it’s all worth it,” Sirius finishes eyes shining.

Remus pulls him into a tight hug, it’s solid and serves to remind him that this _is_ in fact real life. It also serves the purpose of him not having to look into Sirius eyes when he delivers his response.

“I like you too. Even if you are an idiot who does ridiculous things to get my attention,” He pauses, “And I suppose they work, maybe you’re where Potter picked up his flirting techniques.”

He feels something damp on his shoulder, _it can’t be._ He pulls away only to reveal it is in fact what he thinks.

“I cannot believe you are crying right now, you massive sap,” Remus says shaking his head but using his sleeve to wipe away the tear track on the left side of Sirius’s face.

“I can’t believe you compared my flirting to James,” Sirius says who is despite it all still smiling.

Remus laughs and pulls him down to him into a kiss. Remus tells himself it’s mainly to stop the sudden stream of tears but it reveals itself to be a proper snog after a few moments. Lips on lips, hot and undeniably needed. Sometimes he feels like this, _this_ , is the only way he can really communicate and maybe Sirius feels that too. Sirius who is making a play to stick his tongue in Remus’s mouth and Remus is thinking he just might let him, when he hears… footsteps.

Remus pulls away much to the dismay of Sirius, who nearly instantaneously falls into a quite impressive pout.

“Do you hear that?” Remus says attempting to remain somber as Sirius mouth meets his neck.

“I don’t hear anything!” Sirius argues, “Moony, it’s late there’s no one around.”

“You know you are very quick to switch gears for someone who was crying a couple minutes ago,” Remus says.

“I’m in touch with my emotions,” Sirius replies in between peppered kisses on Remus’s face and neck.

“What emotion is this? Lust?” Remus asks

“Wow, Moony, Now we know where you’re head is at. I mean if you’d really prefer it we could always go down to a certain potions classroom?”

Remus laughs and allows Sirius to press his mouth against his once again, just as James slides in from down the corridor, coming seemingly out of thin air.

“Guys, guys, stop snogging and listen to me,”

It takes a moment for Remus to fully react as Sirius slides off of him making a low noise in his throat then proceeding to push his face back against Remus’s collar.

“He knows no boundaries,” he mutters. Remus laughs.

“I heard that and I am choosing to ignore it because you’ll never guess who is going to come to watch me at Quidditch practice tomorrow?”

“Which everyone knows is the first step to dating,” Remus says.

Sirius laughs against him.

“That didn’t sound like a guess.”

“Snivelus?” Sirius says drowning in mock awe the same time as Remus lets out a polished “Professor McGonagall?”

James is unperturbed as he practically spits out “Lily Evans!”

“Who would have guessed?” Sirius says flatly, sitting up to look at James, “cheers, mate.”

James walks forward and pushes himself to be sitting between the two. Sirius wrinkles his nose at the loss of contact with Remus as James starts talking about how this is only the first step to something beautiful and has he ever told you about the exact shade of Red of Lily Evans hair. Remus smiles despite himself, because not even a pleated skirt can fully phase his version of normal.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow! I've never actually posted any of my work on here before but I made it my New Years resolution to change that. Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to leave a comment or even contact me on my Tumblr, Joinourbookcult, if you so desire.


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